


Thunderbirds Are Go – “Mall Madness”

by countessofsnark



Series: The Trouble With The Terrible Two [1]
Category: Thunderbirds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 01:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15377724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countessofsnark/pseuds/countessofsnark
Summary: Based on a prompt by @wonderavianVirg and the tinies go to the mall. The tinies get sugar high and go on a rampage. FUN TIMES FOR ALL. Virgil is very long-suffering.





	Thunderbirds Are Go – “Mall Madness”

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt by @wonderavian
> 
> _Virg and the tinies go to the mall. The tinies get sugar high and go on a rampage. FUN TIMES FOR ALL. Virgil is very long-suffering._

Virgil doesn’t like shopping malls. They’re big and noisy and full of consumer culture zombies that vaguely resemble human beings. But when Scott suggested he take the tinies to the West Ridge Mall in Topeka – ‘for old times’ sake, eh, Virge’ – there was little Virgil could do but nod and groan internally. 

Getting there was the first hurdle they had to take. It required landing Thunderbird 2 in a cornfield and driving Virgil’s big black pick-up truck all the way to the mall. During that ride, the tinies treated their poor driver to a game of ‘are-we-there-yet’. By the time they arrived, Virgil’s intention to stick to a diet of water was replaced by a terrible urge to find the nearest booze hole and try out their beer list, one by one.

While they enter the mall, Virgil closes his eyes and wishes for the mental strength required to deal with what lies ahead. He grabs Alan and Gordon by the shoulder and forces them to face him.

‘Now listen up, little bros. You’re both young adults so I expect you to act your age. And yes, Gordon, I realise there’s a significant difference between your physical age and your mental age, but today’s not the day to try me on that.’

‘Yes mother,’ the tinies mumble in unison.

‘Fine then. What do you want to do first?’

‘I’m hungry. I want food. Can we get some food?’

‘What did you have in mind?’

Gordon and Alan share a look of quiet conspiracy and then turn to Virgil.

Half an hour and a visit to Candyopolis and the International House of Pancakes later, the tinies are sugar high and cackling madly at everything and everyone. Next thing Virgil knows, a rampage ensues. Gordon and Alan disappear into a Yankee Candle store while Virgil is helplessly waiting outside. Moments later they re-emerge, each carrying a big shopping bag which they stuff into Virgil’s arms. 

‘Mountain Lodge jars for our favourite lumberjack bro!’ Gordon giggles, obvlious to Virgil’s squint of disapproval.

Before long, Virgil Tracy is barely visible underneath a random mountain of shopping bags containing everything from cosmetics to rose pattern tea cosies. The tinies are busy figuring out the next target of their mad mall dash. They can’t see Virgil’s eye twitching as he tries to keep the storm inside from bubbling to the surface.

_Take your younger brothers to the mall, they said. It’ll be fun, they said._

Virgil clumsily puts their loot onto the shiny mall floor and slumps onto a faux-wood bench. He pretends not to notice the gaggle of teen girls who are staring at him with big doe eyes, practically undressing his lumberjack style layers of clothing. 

He sighs and buries his head in his hands. Suddenly, a loud and shrill pair of voices is moving closer, accompanied by the staccato thudding of footsteps.

‘VIRGIL. LOOK WHAT WE FOUND. AXE THEMED BOXERS. DRESS YOUR MORNING WOOD IN STYLE, EH.’

Behind Virgil, whose cheeks are now burning a shade of red that matches his shirt, the teenage girls are cackling and giggling.

The next day, Virgil seriously contemplates getting a vasectomy in spite of Grandma’s desperate pleas and rants about how she’s looking forward to seeing all of her boys getting kids of their own.


End file.
